Category Archives: coping with divorce

How to Deal with Seeing Your Ex Unexpectedly

seeing your ex

how to deal with seeing your ex

You got the wind knocked out of your sails with the breakup. You had a few rough days, weeks, maybe even months. But, you finally started getting back out there in the real world.

You’re hitting the town with your friends. You’re working out at the gym. And you’re trying like mad to at least look like you’re getting on with your life – no matter how much you want her back.

You’re doing good. You’re looking good. Girls are starting to smile and flirt with you. You’re Superman.

Then BAM!

Out of the blue, she walks into the room and it feels like you’ve been hit in the gut with a kryptonite fist.

Your mouth gets dry. Your palms get sweaty. Your tongue suddenly feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and you’re caught between a sudden overwhelming urge to flee and a simultaneous but equally powerful urge to beg her to take you back.

What do you do?

You say something about how it’s great to see her and make a hasty retreat.

It’s only after you’re out of her presence that you begin to think of all the things you could have, should have, or would have said if you’d been able to think clearly at the time.

Then you engage in a fantasy replay of how things would have shaken out if you’d just been able to speak. But, wouldn’t it be nice if you couldĀ  think of these things ahead of time and have a good idea of what to say to her when the moment arrives?

Believe me it would! Especially if you’re interested in getting her back.
Stop getting sucker punched by her presence. Take back the power and let her see you in a new light. You can control the conversation and how it plays out as long as you plan ahead for when that moment comes.

I’m not talking about arranging an “accidental” meeting. That’s not the right idea in this situation. But, you do want to have a plan for what you’ll say to her when your paths do cross so that you don’t look like you’re either avoiding her, running away from her, or angry with her for the breakup.

Time heals a lot of old wounds. You might be surprised to discover that she’s probably just as nervous about the encounter as you are – even though she’s the one who broke up with you.

So what should you say?

  1. Keep it short.
  2. Keep it light.
  3. Avoid bringing up the past – leave that to her.

Keep these things in mind. Write a script for yourself. Memorize the script. Practice it in the mirror. Do whatever you have to do so that it’s second nature and the next time your paths cross you’ll be ready.

Relationship Breakup

Ease the Pain of a Relationship Breakup Right Now

A relationship breakup is one of the hardest things most people will ever have to do Indeed, most studies on stress show that a divorce ranks even higher on the stress scale than losing a loved one. Most people don’t have any idea how to properly handle a relationship breakup.

The end of a relationship will always be painful, even if it’s one that needs to be broken up. You’ve spent a lot of time and emotion with this person, and even if you’re the one doing the breaking up, it’s going to come with a lot of hurt feelings.

Obviously, this going to be even worse if you’re the one being broken up with. A relationship breakup that you don’t want or expect is a horrible event. What you have to keep in mind is that a relationship needs two people in it. You may want it to go on, but if the other person has checked out, you may have to consider that the relationship needed to end.

Still there are techniques you can use to ease the pain of a relationship breakup. I’m going to outline several techniques that have been proven to help relieve the pain of a broken heart and move you past the hurt.

relationship get him back breakupStep One: Figure Out Why

You need to know why the relationship ended. This doesn’t matter if you were the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with. Either way you need to do some soul searching to find out what the reasons were behind the breakup. If you have some questions about why you broke up, then you’re never going to be able to move beyond the relationship breakup.

Step Two: Get Rid of Reminders

You need to get some space between you and the person you’ve broken up with. This means that you can’t go to bed each night hanging on to your ex’s old sweater. You need to clean the deck and get your mind off of them. You need to make a clean break, so you need to put away all the little reminders.

Step Three: Positive People

There are negative people in the world and there are positive people. If you’ve just experienced a relationship breakup, you’re going to find that you are in a very negative place. What you need to do is find the most upbeat and positive people you can and spend as much time with them as possible. In combination with the previous two steps, this will put you in the right place to move.

Step Four: Start Dating Again

The final step in recovering from a relationship break up is to start dating other people. The thing you need to keep in mind is that you are not trying to replace your ex, you’re just trying to start seeing the world as a place without them. So you need to see other people and get out there. Don’t look at every date as a new chance at love, just look at them as a way to get your mojo back.

The four steps will have you over your relationship breakup in no time flat. But keep in mind; you don’t necessarily have to get over a break up. Sometimes good relationships fall apart for the wrong reasons, and you can fix the damage. You just need to find the right plan.

relationship breakup

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Ending a Relationship

Ending A Relationship Know When To Stay And When To Go

When ending a relationship, it’s important to know how to end a relationship properly and whether you should be ending a relationship. Not every relationship that has problems needs to end, and not every relationship that has ended needs to stay that way. The trick is having the knowledge to make the right decision.

Some relationships truly do need to end. If your partner is abusing you, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. If you’re on other side, and you’re having trouble controlling your temper, then you’re obligated to break up with the other person for both of your sakes.

Aside from the obvious, when should you consider ending a relationship? When it’s clear to you that the two of you no longer want the same things in a relationship. If the other person wants to get married and you don’t, that’s a sign. When you find yourself moved to cheat on them with someone else, that’s a sign.

Ending a relationship shouldn’t follow a big fight. This is how good relationships end up being broken apart when there’s no reason they had to. When considering breaking it off with the other person, you need to have a clear head about the entire relationship.

Once you decided to break it off, you need to do it the right way so that you can both move on. There are three basic guidelines you need to follow:

ending an emotional abusive relationshipDon’t Play Games – Nobody likes to break up with someone. That’s normal, but there’s a temptation to try and make the other person do the dirty work in ending a relationship. Mostly subconsciously, we pick fights and play games to try and antagonize the other person into breaking up with us.

This is a trap you need to avoid. Be direct, be honest and be proactive; make sure you treat the other person with respect. Trying to goad them into breaking up with you will simply make you both miserable.

Do it in Person
– Breaking up is a very painful experience for both parties. It is very tempting to bring the relationship to the end by email or phone or, these days, text message. That way, you don’t have to see the look on their face or if you leave a message, without even talking to him.

But obviously, this is no way to end a relationship. If you do not interact with the other person will breaking up, you won’t have any kind of closure. This defeats the entire point of making a clean break. Do both of you a favor and break up in person in a relatively private place.

Be Honest – You need to tell the other person exactly why you are ending the relationship. This isn’t easy, because they will have tendency to try and talk you out of it, but the truth is that lying to them about the reasons doesn’t help either of you. Be honest, even if they don’t want to hear it.

If you follow these three tips, you will find ending a relationship to be a much smoother, much more effective process. Be aware, though, that along the way, you might find that the problems you have are fixable. If this is the case, you need to find some resources to help you mend and repair the relationship.

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