Category Archives: get back together

How to Make Him Pay Attention to You Now

Getting his attention used to be easy. All you had to do was walk into the room – any room – and you had his undivided attention. Add a little wiggle to his walk, toss your hair over your shoulder, and crook your little finger and he’d come running fast. Lately, the only thing that gets that much love from him is the television remote. You’re starting to feel a little bit left out and worn down.

What if I told you that there is something you can do RIGHT NOW that will get his attention – in a good way?

You can!

It’s easier than you think and you don’t have to walk around the house wearing nothing more than six-inch stilettos to get it.

Flirt with Him

How long has it been since you flirted with your guy? First of all, it WILL get his attention. He’ll be more than a little surprise and quite a bit turned on.

Now the downside is that he may instantly become suspicious. If that’s the case, don’t let it get you down. After all, you haven’t done it in a while.

The problem with relationships, is that no matter how much we love each other, after a while we stop trying quite as hard. We become a little bit complacent. Bringing back the flirting lets him know that you’re willing to try a little harder.

He’ll probably like it a lot more than he’ll ever let on.

Take it a little beyond hair tosses and batted eyelashes though. Let him know how big, strong, and handsome you think he is (of course you’ll want to find ways to say it that don’t leave you sounding like Betty Boop — unless that’s the kind of thing your guy likes).

This is all about him. You want to remind him that he’s the only man for you. Flirting, sends the signal to him that you think he’s still worth trying for – no matter how long you’ve been together.

Touch Him!

Want to kick things up a notch? Touch him. Men express and experience love in a different way than women. It doesn’t have to be sexual touching, though that certainly doesn’t hurt your odds of getting his attention. But, he likes to be touched.

Rub his shoulders. Scratch his back. Hold his hands. Reach out and touch him and see what an instant response that gets from him.

We live in a day and time when attention is easily divided. Bringing a little bit of flirting and a whole lot of touching back into the relationship is the fastest way you have at your disposal to get his attention  – in a very good way.

Signs Your Girlfriend is Getting Ready to Walk Away

Relationships aren’t always easy. Signals get crossed. You take each other for granted. Life sometimes gets in the way. Sometimes this leads to one or both of you being unhappy and unsure of what move to make next. While communicating these feelings would be an excellent start, life doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes, she just starts making plans to leave. But what are the signs your girl’s got leaving on her mind?

She Stops Making Plans for the Future

At least, she stops making plans for the future with you. She’s stopped sharing them with you. She’s stopped asking what’s on the calendar and trying to talk you into going to family events, planning for vacations, or anything else along those lines. She’s even stopped talking about future living arrangements. That’s a huge red flag that all isn’t right in paradise.

Girls are forever making plans for the future. In fact, women begin planning their wedding days in kindergarten right down to the dress, flowers, cake, and party favors. It’s a big deal. When she stops hinting at wedding bells down the road, it means her mind is moving on. Her body will follow soon.

She’s Suddenly Started Working Longer Hours or Looking for a New Job

Women get worried about their ability to support themselves right about the time they plan to leave a relationship. This is especially true if you’re living together and/or if there are children involved. Financial independence will be extremely important to her as it may determine her ability to support herself and her child or children.

The extra hours at work help her set aside a bit of a nest egg so that she doesn’t walk away from the relationship with nothing. A new job can represent higher income and opportunities for advancement in the future.

She’s Spending Less and Your Joint Savings aren’t Growing

The money is going somewhere. Either she’s socking it away somewhere or she’s spending it on someone (or something else). Unless you have a birthday coming up or Christmas is close, this is typically cause for concern.

The key, in each of these situations, however, is not to panic. She may be thinking about leaving, but she hasn’t left yet. You still have time to turn the tides in your favor. You just need the proper roadmap to follow that all but guarantees your success. Follow the right map and you’ll find your way back into her heart and good graces in no time.

6 Strategic Moves You Need to Make to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back

All’s fair in love and war. Believe me, when love is on the skids, it certainly feels like war. We all know that the army with superior forces and sound strategies is the most certain of victors in any war. The same holds true when the war is for the heart of someone who has taken her heart back. These strategic moves are sure to improve your odds.

  1. Give her space. It may sound counter-intuitive at the moment, but it’s important to give her a little breathing room to figure out what it is that she really wants. Give it to her.
  2. Be absent from her life. She’ll never realize how much you mean to her or how much she misses having you around if you’re always there for her when she needs you. This is not the way to win her back. It’s rewarding her by giving her all the best of you without requiring the same from her in return. That’s not how successful relationships work.
  3. Make her come to you. Don’t call, text, email, visit, etc. Don’t go to her. Instead, wait. Then, make her come to you. Let her be the one who sees that breaking up was a mistake. Let her figure out just how much she really does miss having you in her life. Let her come to you.
  4. Don’t be overly eager. In fact, work very hard on your composure. Practice what you’ll say if you run into her. Work on the words, the phrases, and the overall message you want to send. Make sure she knows you’re doing just fine without her in your life.
  5. Show the world you haven’t fallen apart. Women like strong men, no matter what they tell you. It may be that you have a girl who enjoys your sensitive side, but thousands of years of history show that women are attracted to men of strength, especially in times of adversity. Don’t fall apart. More importantly, don’t let the word spread if you do fall apart after the initial breakup.
  6. Stop pretending to be someone you’re not in hopes of getting her back. Any ground you gain by pretending will be lost quickly once you begin dating again. You can’t pretend forever. She’ll eventually see through the exterior. If you want to make real, lasting changes, that’s great. Don’t pretend, however, that you’ve changed core things about yourself just for the sake of winning her back. It doesn’t serve either of you in the end and can set you back even further in your efforts to win her heart all over again.

Come up with a plan before you make your next move, if you haven’t made one already. If you’ve already made a few mistakes trying to get her back, take this time to step back and come up with a strategy before making your next move. Remember these strategies to help you get her back as well.

Silly Mistakes Derailing Your Efforts to Get Your Ex Back

How long have you been working to get your ex back without seeing any real results? Many people in your shoes are surprised to learn that it isn’t what you aren’t doing that’s holding you back. It’s the things you are doing, that are working against you. Here are a few common roadblocks that could be derailing your trip back to relationship bliss.

You are Proud to be there for Your Ex

It’s a noble idea. Really it is. However, if you’re there for a friendly ear, a comforting shoulder, or a fast perk-me-up whenever your ex needs it from you, your ex isn’t really missing out on the benefits of being in a relationship with you. It’s getting all the fringe benefits of a loving relationship without putting in the work to keep things going. Instead, you’re going to have to let your ex deal with the stings life delivers sometimes without the solace of your comforting presence.

You Keep Trying

I know this one goes against everything your heart (and to some degree your head) is screaming at your right now. However, in times of crisis, reason isn’t even in charge of your head either. Reason rarely rules the heart. Why should a time of emotional distress be any different? One person can’t do it all in the relationship.

Pat Benatar had it right when she sang, “Love is a Battlefield.” Love is war and the winners, in love, have a plan. The tactical advantage goes to the one who retreats, assesses the situation impartially, and plans a strategic assault with victory in mind. You had better believe love is war. And you need to take a little time to assess your current position, the hostility of the terrain, and the best path to victory before you go in with guns (or in this case Cupid’s arrows) blazing.

You Attack from a Position of Weakness

Fans of NCIS know that team leader Gibbs is always telling his team not to apologize. According to Gibbs, apologizing is a sign of weakness. While that’s a philosophical debate for the most part, when you’re trying to save your relationship or get your ex back, it is often viewed, the leaving party, as a sign of weakness. You don’t want to make your move from an inferior position. Instead, lead with your strengths.

Show your power. Establish your dominance. Come in swinging from a position of strength and don’t ever let your ex see you sweat. There’s nothing sexier, to members of the opposite sex, than confidence. Be confident in yourself, your contribution to the relationship, and the fact that it’s just not time for this relationship to end.

Above all else, don’t make a move until you know what you’re going to do next. Have a contingency plan in place for a favorable outcome as well as a less-than-favorable outcome so that you don’t come across as desperate if you don’t win this round. Your mind needs to remain focused on the long-term prize of getting your ex back and every plan needs to ultimately lead you down that happy road.

Are You Willing to Set Him Free in Order to Get Him Back?

Sometimes, in your quest to get your ex back, you have to think outside the box to get the results you really want. When your heart is breaking, when you’re in the midst of soul-wrenching suffering that often accompanies an unwanted breakup, all you can think about is making the pain stop.

Simple thought processes work best in times of great emotional distress. Breakup equals broken heart. Makeup equals a world without pain.

If only it really were that simple.

You see, getting him back is only half the battle. Things weren’t good for everyone in the relationship or he wouldn’t have found it quite so simple to walk away. Most people don’t leave unless they really feel there’s something missing.

Understand, that I’m not saying it’s YOUR fault he left. Nothing could be further from the truth. Guys are notoriously terrible at even admitting they have needs at all in a relationship, much less at asking for those needs to be met. In your defense, you cannot possibly meet needs you don’t even know exist.

You’re no more of a mind reader than he is, after all. Just as he expects you to understand that, he cannot read your mind. You must make it clear to him, when you do get back together, that you cannot read his mind either.

So what’s this about letting him go?

Many girls in your shoes didn’t read past that point. The idea of letting him go is simply too terrible or tragic to even contemplate right now. But, what if that was the almost certain road to take for winning him back? What if it could more than double your chances for success in your efforts to get him back?

When you follow the right plan, and completely give him up as part of the plan, at least as far as he and the rest of the world is concerned, your chances of success increase exponentially.

Why?

Because when you stop trying so hard to win him back, the real you begins to shine through. That’s when he’s most likely to remember all the reasons he fell in love with you in the first place. He doesn’t want you trying to please and placate — at least not when it means you’re pretending to be someone he knows you’re not.

Go back to the beginning if you want to move forward. When you get there, leave all the excess baggage behind and truly start with a clean slate. See what a difference that makes to your future and how well you’re rewarded by giving up on getting him back and focusing on a completely new beginning instead.

How Badly Do You Really Want to Get Your Ex Back?

In the first few days following a breakup, getting your ex back is probably all you can think about. It becomes a mantra playing repeatedly in your mind. Depending on how long and deeply involved the relationship may have been, it may be the only thing helping you hold onto a little bit of sanity as your mind comes to terms with what your heart has already discovered — the pain of loss.

It’s important to allow a little time to pass before you make your move and try to get your ex back. Why is that? Because sometimes it’s best to gain a little perspective and distance from the heartache you’re feeling right now.

Distance makes it possible for your ex to forgive hurtful words and deeds, forget pain, and begin to remember the pleasure of being with you. Allowing time for some of the more pleasant aspects of your relationship to resurface in the heart and mind of your ex buys the time you really need to make a positive impression. Unfortunately, you have to want it really bad in order to do this. It takes a lot of discipline to hold off long enough for the good memories to come back to life.

That’s the problem most people in your shoes have, though. Finding the patience and strength of will it takes to really let your ex go and wait. Wait, however long it takes, for your ex to come back to you.

However, there are things you can do to fill your time so that it doesn’t feel like you’re waiting around forever for your ex to come back to his or her senses and realize what a catch you really are.

  1.  Get in shape. Whether you wish you were a little more muscular or want to lose a few extra pounds, there’s no time like the present to get started. Not only will this leave a more attractive package when your ex does come calling, it’s a great way to boost your confidence, restore your self-esteem, and fill the hours that are no longer devoted to spending time with your ex.
  2. Go back to school. Even if you aren’t going back for a degree. Many colleges are participating in the open culture of study these days. You can take classes from Harvard, Yale, and other top universities throughout the country free online. The knowledge you gain from these courses is invaluable even if you don’t gain a degree. Some programs offer certificates of completion that can help provide you with greater upward mobility in your chosen profession.
  3. Focus on activities and interests that lift you up. We all have areas in our lives where we’d like to see improvement. We all want to be better than we are in some ways. Now is the perfect chance for you to focus on being a better YOU!

While you’re busy doing all these things, your ex is busy missing you. More importantly, he or she is hearing, from others, about all the positive changes you’re making. Your ex is sure to want to be a part of the improvements going on in your life. Now is the time when your ex is most likely to come calling. Do you know what you’re going to say when your ex does?

Why Did My Girlfriend Cheat on Me?

why did my girlfriend cheat on me?

why did my girlfriend cheat on me?

The numbers on cheating are quite alarming if you look at modern statistics. The most alarming fact of all, for many men, is that the number of women who cheat almost equals the number of men who cheat. This is the first time that’s happened in the history of humanity. The thing to remember is that the reasons women cheat are often very different from the reasons men cheat. These are a few of the most commonly stated reasons women cheat on their men.

She Needs Something Her Husband/Boyfriend Isn’t Giving Her

We all have needs. It’s human nature. Successful relationships are all about both parties having their needs met. This requires a major level of effective communication about your individual needs, what they are, and how those needs are best met. And that’s a challenge for many couples. A big one.

The other challenge is that she doesn’t always know what that need is until someone comes along and leaves her completely gobsmacked by meeting it. It’s hard to compete with that. However, that doesn’t excuse her cheating either. It just makes her vulnerable to the person who is meeting this need she’s had that’s left her unfulfilled for so long.

He Pays Attention

Women who cheat often feel lonely despite being married. You may not be the greatest conversationalist, but when you stop paying attention to your wife and what she has to say, it leaves her feeling lonely, alone, and isolated.

It makes her the perfect fodder for a man interested in a “string free” relationship with a married women or for a man who really has his eye on the prize your wife really is. All he has to do to make her putty in his hands is pay attention to her, listen to what she has to say, and respond in a positive manner.

She Feels Like She’s Being Taken for Granted at Home

Many women feel unappreciated at home. She feels like her efforts aren’t noticed or appreciated by her family and her husband. She feels like it’s always taken for granted that she’ll be there and that no one really cares that she is.

Then a stranger comes along and shows appreciation, makes her feel like the center of the universe, and really notices the little things. She’s no longer feeling taken for granted. In fact, she’s feeling a wide range of emotions she hasn’t felt in a long time, the most important of which is excitement.

Women are less likely to cheat simply because the opportunity presents itself. More often than not, it isn’t a spur of the moment decisions and it isn’t often casual. That’s why women’s affairs are often more devastating to the state of the marriage than a man’s affair. Actively work to prevent this from happening by paying attention to your wife, noticing the details, showing your appreciation, and dedicating yourself to discovering and meeting her most important needs. You’ll be amazed what a difference these steps make in your marriage and your relationship.

How to Make Her Feel Like the Queen of Your World

Have you ever noticed that even in marriages where the couples seem to have it all — looks, money, the perfect story — things sometimes fall apart? It leaves a lot of mere mortals without the fairy tale budgets and picture perfect smile stand a chance. The truth is, that the regular people of the world stand as much of a chance as those with big budgets to buy their girls a little bit of everything.

Why?

Because when it comes down to it, most girls aren’t proverbial material girls no matter how great of a show they put on. They may claim that diamonds are a girl’s best friend. They certainly won’t turn them down when offered. But, what a girl really wants is to feel like the queen of your world and not just an afterthought. These simple steps might not sound like much, but they’ll make a world of different to the girl who is currently queen of your heart.

Sweat the Details

Many men follow the wrong advice when they listen to people telling them not to sweat the small stuff. Life is the small stuff. It’s the small stuff that passes by, ignored and overlooked, while you’re busy looking for the big statement items. Don’t let her get away because you were so busy looking for something monumental to show your love that you overlooked a thousand small ways you could have told her or showed her how you feel.

Kiss her Hellos and Goodbye – No Matter What

Life gets busy sometimes. It’s easy to overlook the details of what’s going on at home when you have a thousand different demands firing your way at the office or you’re worried about how you’re going to make ends meet next month. Whatever your worries may be, you should have no worry greater in your life than greeting your girl hello and leaving her with something to remember you by throughout the day.

The perfect solution?

A kiss.

It costs little and speaks volumes.

Give her a Night Off Each Week

There’s nothing the average busy wife and mother wants more than a night off each week. Come home and take over. Plan the meals. Feed the kids. Bathe the kids. Tuck them in. Draw her a bath and take over kitchen cleanup duties while she relaxes in the tub. It will feel like a little piece of paradise to her and show her just how devoted to her you really are.

Send her Silly Little Love Notes

They may seem silly to you, but these are the things she’ll read a thousand times over the years. She’ll wrap them in ribbons and take them out to look over whenever the road gets a little rough between you. If you continue sending them, she’ll often revisit them to see how things have changed, and how much they’ve stayed the same between the two of you.

You don’t have to spend ridiculous sums of money to show her that she really is the queen of your hearts. More importantly, these small gestures make her feel like she’s the queen of your world too.

How to Deal with Seeing Your Ex Unexpectedly

seeing your ex

how to deal with seeing your ex

You got the wind knocked out of your sails with the breakup. You had a few rough days, weeks, maybe even months. But, you finally started getting back out there in the real world.

You’re hitting the town with your friends. You’re working out at the gym. And you’re trying like mad to at least look like you’re getting on with your life – no matter how much you want her back.

You’re doing good. You’re looking good. Girls are starting to smile and flirt with you. You’re Superman.

Then BAM!

Out of the blue, she walks into the room and it feels like you’ve been hit in the gut with a kryptonite fist.

Your mouth gets dry. Your palms get sweaty. Your tongue suddenly feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and you’re caught between a sudden overwhelming urge to flee and a simultaneous but equally powerful urge to beg her to take you back.

What do you do?

You say something about how it’s great to see her and make a hasty retreat.

It’s only after you’re out of her presence that you begin to think of all the things you could have, should have, or would have said if you’d been able to think clearly at the time.

Then you engage in a fantasy replay of how things would have shaken out if you’d just been able to speak. But, wouldn’t it be nice if you could  think of these things ahead of time and have a good idea of what to say to her when the moment arrives?

Believe me it would! Especially if you’re interested in getting her back.
Stop getting sucker punched by her presence. Take back the power and let her see you in a new light. You can control the conversation and how it plays out as long as you plan ahead for when that moment comes.

I’m not talking about arranging an “accidental” meeting. That’s not the right idea in this situation. But, you do want to have a plan for what you’ll say to her when your paths do cross so that you don’t look like you’re either avoiding her, running away from her, or angry with her for the breakup.

Time heals a lot of old wounds. You might be surprised to discover that she’s probably just as nervous about the encounter as you are – even though she’s the one who broke up with you.

So what should you say?

  1. Keep it short.
  2. Keep it light.
  3. Avoid bringing up the past – leave that to her.

Keep these things in mind. Write a script for yourself. Memorize the script. Practice it in the mirror. Do whatever you have to do so that it’s second nature and the next time your paths cross you’ll be ready.

Making up in the Movies – Why Doesn’t it Really Work That Way?

making upYou’ve seen it happen in the movies dozens, if not hundreds of time. Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love with boy. Boy breaks girl’s heart (mean boy!). Girl breaks up with boy. Boy makes heroic effort with giant 1980’s boom boxes, saying “hello,” flying a jet, and countless other antics to win her heart back. The problem is, one person is writing the script for both of them in the movies. They’re playing pre-defined roles and following cues. Real life doesn’t quite work that way.

Lack of Originality

Unfortunately, a lot of guys haven’t gotten the memo. You’re still trying to use moves that have been used before. Sadly, these are moves the girls you’re trying to get back together with already know about too.

Your ex doesn’t want you to copy something that’s been done before. If you’re going to make a move to get her back, it had better, at the very least, be original. It needs to be something she hasn’t seen before. It also needs to be something that you would do. It needs to appear sincere. Using movie lines as your guide makes her feel as though she isn’t
important enough to you for something original.

Not Appropriate for Your Situation

Every relationship is different. Every breakup is somewhat unique. You can be having the same arguments as 10,000 other couples around the world, but there are things about the two of you and your situation that make those same arguments and situations unique.

No matter what the reason for the breakup was, your situation is different than Harry and Sally’s (When Harry Met Sally), Joe and Kathleen’s (You’ve Got Mail), Maverick and Charlie’s (Top Gun), and Pat and Tiffany’s (Silver Linings Playbook). You need to take the time and make the effort to come up with something unique and specific to your romantic situation. More importantly, it needs to be something that will matter to her and melt her heart.

Alternative Endings Worth Considering

That is, of course, if you’re going for movie magic effects. However, you could do something else altogether. Something she may even find curious and shocking. You could let her go — at least for a little while. Instead of going after the girl, give her a little time to think things through.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Then, after a little time has passed, chances are you won’t need to call her. She’ll call you. When that happens, you can both enjoy a happy ending that’s much better than anything Hollywood could come up with because it’s the story that belongs to the two of you and no one else.

Why Apologizing is The Wrong Answer if You Really Want to Get Her Back

get her backMost guys think the perfect answer, after a breakup, is to apologize to the girl who got away. Some of them have a hard time understanding why this doesn’t work – or in some cases makes her even angrier than she was initially. Apologizing is almost always the wrong answer. Here are just a few of the reasons why.

Apologizing is a Sign of Weakness

Fans of the hit television show on CBS have heard this a time or two throughout its many seasons on the air. It’s one of Gibbs’ favorite sayings. But, it is a sign of being on the weak end of the argument. You never want to broach an argument from a weaker position.

Apologies Come Across as Insincere

Chances are good that you’ve apologized in the past. Perhaps, you’ve even apologized for the very things she says are the problems in your relationship. Apologies, without action, do not bring about a sufficient result to make her happy. While you don’t have to change everything about who you are, sometimes, you’re going to have to make some adjustments to your nature in order to keep her happy and make her FEEL loved by you.

Apologies aren’t Specific Enough

Apologizing for “whatever you did to make her leave” isn’t going to cut it. She needs to hear the specific reason why you’re apologizing. She wants you to acknowledge that you’ve hurt, neglected, ignored, cheated, or whatever it is that you’ve done. She wants to know that you understand it’s wrong. Problem is, she doesn’t always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason it’s a bad idea to apologize when your girlfriend leaves.

It’s Too Easy to Apologize for the Wrong Thing

The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire by apologizing for something you think she found out about, while failing to apologize to the thing that’s really set her off. Talk about digging in deeper! The bottom line, when it comes to apologies, is that there are many more ways to get it wrong than there are to get it right. If you feel you must apologize, it’s best to do it in writing and follow these simple rules.

  1. Be specific.
  2. Make your apology brief.
  3. Keep it simple.

Putting it in writing prevents a fight, gives her time to think it over, and provides a neutral setting where she can process the apology and what it may mean for your collective futures. Apologies, for the most part, have a negative impact on the future of the relationship. Instead of a apologizing, look for positive aspects of the relationship and attempt to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes that were made.

along the way.

Moving Mountains Isn’t Necessary – It Only Takes One Trick to Win Her Back

getting your girlfriend backGetting your girlfriend back may seem like the most difficult task on the planet. It doesn’t have to be though. Many guys make it much more difficult than is necessary. You see, you’ve been led to believe, mostly in Hollywood movies and by the makers of fine jewelry, chocolate, and greeting cards, that this is the way it’s supposed to be. That isn’t the case at all.

In fact, once the girl leaves, the average relationship may seem irrevocably broken, but there are still easy tips you can follow that really will help you get her back. Here are a few things you should remember if you really want to win her back.

Stop Living in the Past

Turn of the century American Author, Alice Morse Earle, once wrote: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.” Living in relationship past robs you both of all the joy of each day together when you’re in the relationship. Now that she has left, however, it can rob you of a clear perspective on what needs to be done now in order to save the relationship and make it work this time around.

Become the Man You WANT to Be

This is hard for many men. It’s something you may not have given a lot of thought to. Bruce Willis starred in a great movie called The Kid, where the grown up man is confronted by his eight year old self. The eight year old was horrified at the man he’d become saying, “So, I’m forty, I’m not married, I don’t fly jets, and I don’t have a dog? I grow up to be a loser.”

Sometimes there is wisdom in those childhood echoes. You may have given up on the idea of flying jets (who really ever gives that one up though?), but that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to be the man you want to be — even if that does involve learning to fly a jet. The first step is deciding who you want to be. Then you must tackle the process of becoming that man.

How does that Help You Get the Girl?

Life doesn’t always follow a movie script. You might have to wait a little while to really get her attention. But, once you start making real, notable changes in the man you are and stop trying to recapture a past that wasn’t as picture perfect as you remember, you’ll be able to gain a new outlook on the future. One thing is certain. Once you become the man you WANT to be, the here and now, the PRESENT, is something she’ll WANT to be part of.

The Lazy Man’s Guide to Getting Your Girlfriend Back

Breaking up is especially difficult when it wasn’t your plan. Men handle unexpected breakups in different ways. Some men go all in to get their girlfriends back. They jump through crazy hoops, make deals, bargain, beg, and come close to stalking in an effort to get her back.

Other men decide that maybe this is just how things were meant to be and seek greener pastures elsewhere – at least, that’s what they do in time. It often takes at least a little while to mend their broken hearts and feel willing to put them back on the market again.

But there are still others who want to ride off into the sunset with the girl that got away, but have no idea how to make that happen. More importantly, they want to get her back but they don’t want to have to jump through hoops to do it.

Fortunately, hoop jumping really isn’t necessary to get her back. You don’t even have to do the chasing. You’ll probably be surprised to learn just how easy it can be to get her to come back to you.

get her back

Don’t Call Her

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? After all, it requires no action on your part. What it does require, though, is dedicated inaction. That’s not so simple when every instinct you have is telling you to go after her.

It’s the primal male drive to conquer all threats to life, limb, and overall happiness. You want to make her see the light. You want to show her how good it really is between you. You want things to be the way they were.

Chasing the girl down might make her swoon in the movies. In real life it nets you a restraining order. Give her a little time to work through her own emotions and take a little time to really think about whether things really were all that good (for both of you) the way they were.

Make Small Changes at Home

You don’t have to become a completely new man. That’s way too much work. But you might make a few small changes in appearance – yes girls really do notice these things. Consider something simple to start with like teeth whitening to brighten your smile.

While you might not be interested in a full blown gym membership, you might want to consider lifting weights at home (within reason) or playing racquetball or even pickup basketball games for a little firming and toning – maybe even skip that second beer at night or cut back from the pizza. Small changes don’t require a lot of effort and can deliver really big results.

Wait for Her to Come to You

Believe it or not, the world is small. Once people start noticing the little changes you’re making, and believe me they will, word will get back to her. Women are curious creatures. Not only in the sense that men have a hard time understanding them, but because they like to know what’s going on.

It will drive her insane with curiosity that you’re doing so well without her. She’ll want to know why you’re looking better, getting together with other people, and making changes for the better in your life – even little changes get big attention in today’s world.

She will call or “bump” into you just to see what’s different. She’ll be desperate to know what’s going on. That’s when it’s really time to work your magic. All you need now is the right thing to say to convince her she was wrong to walk away.

Zip Zam Zoom – Magical Words to Win Him Back

Getting your boyfriend back isn’t always a walk in the park. You may have been trying for some time, without success, to make it happen. That’s probably what led you here. You’re looking for a quick and easy, perhaps even magical, solution to get him back for good this time around.

getting your boyfriend backWhat is Magic?

For some people magic is something mystical and wonderful that cannot be understood, much less explained. For other people, magic is simply a trick of the eye or some sort of sleight of hand that always has a solution.

Whether your definition of magic includes something enchanting and wonderful or a mystery to solve, getting your boyfriend back doesn’t involve supernatural maneuverings.

BUT

A few magic words certainly want help.

Zip

This is the little pop of fun, pep, and life that is necessary in all lasting relationships. What kind of zip has your relationship had lately? Were things going along swell and suddenly the bottom fell out?

OR

Have things been slowly switching from sizzle to fizzle in recent months? When was the last time you went on a romantic date together? How long has it been since you weren’t able to keep your hands off each other?

But how do you put the “zip” back in after the fact?

You add the zip into your own life. Spruce up your image a bit. Add a little sparkle to your appearance, add a little boost to your confidence, and become the vibrant, active girl you were when you first met. If the two of you move in remotely similar social circles he will hear about the new you – and it will drive him insane with curiosity.

Zam

Get into the best shape of your life. Whether it’s losing weight or adding a little tone, now is the time to get into shape and really take care of yourself. Make sure you’re eating nutritious meals and drinking plenty of water to stay hydrated. These things are important because the one thing you want, more than anything else, if you cross paths with your ex boyfriend is to come across as happy and healthy.

He expects you to do a little bit of pining and it’s going to really make him curious about what’s going on in your life if you’re going around looking better than ever.

Zoom

Keep going and don’t stop to grieve over him. Commit yourself to living your best life without him in it. It’s not moving on. It’s not letting go of the idea of getting him back. It’s even better. It’s showing him that you don’t NEED him – all the while he’s figuring out that he might actually need you.

Relationships aren’t easy, but neither is breaking up. Give him the chance to see that you’re making it on your own, without him, and he’s very likely to make the first move so you will have no trouble convincing him that the idea to get back together was all his. THAT is the truly magical aspect of getting your boyfriend back – convincing him that he’s the one who wanted to make it happen.

Secret to Making Your Ex Return Your Call

Getting Your Ex to Return Your Call

Are there ‘magic’ words you can use to get your ex to return your phone calls?

Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex feel almost compelled to return your call.

Cool huh?…

I am going to share this with you because this is one of the biggest questions from the over 35,000 subscribers just like you that are trying to put their relationship back together.

So I am going to answer…”How do I get my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?”

BUT…

**********
WARNING!
**********

In the Magic Of Making Up, I lay out a complete strategy.

If you use this technique alone, without an ‘overall’ plan or strategy…you may damage your relationship more than if they never returned your call.

****************
What NOT to Say!
****************

Before we get into the actual words, let’s go over what message almost NEVER works.

and worse…

Puts you in an AWFUL ‘psychological’ position.

These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like

“John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you.”

And the EMERGENCY

“Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this.”

Now, I think you can see what is wrong with
both of those approaches?

So, I won’t go on and on…

**************************************************
How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest To Your Advantage
**************************************************

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are

  1. Curiosity &
  2. Self Interest

And here’s the BIG SECRET!

When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work ‘magic’

So…

Let’s look at what you can say that works nearly EVERY TIME.

In a friendly tone:

“Hi John. It’s Cindy. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person.”

Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity
and self interest?

John will NOT be able to resist! “What did I do?” “What does she appreciate?” he will be thinking. And he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now…

Before you call you need to do the “Set Up”…which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate.

It can be any small thing…but needs to be plausible.

But more importantly…

**************
2nd WARNING!
**************

Please have an underlying strategy like I lay out in the Magic Of Making Up System BEFORE you call.

 

If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and they call you back you can do more DAMAGE than good if you do not handle it correctly.

Okay?

What I am saying is…

What you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is MORE important than getting them to return your call.

Make sense?

Have a PLAN! – How To Stop Divorce

Stop Listening to Your Girlfriends!

get him backHere’s What You Need To Do To Get Him Back

You love ‘em dearly. You know your girlfriends have your back. But, when it comes to tactics to get your ex back, they just may be steering you in the wrong direction. They could, well meaning as they may be, even be hurting your chances of success.

Getting dumped by the boy you still love is one of the most difficult things a girl can go through. When it’s all said and done, you have one though on your mind – getting him back.

Your girlfriends have been there to hear you out. They’ve given you shoulders to cry on. They’ve even shared their super secret chocolate stashes with you to help you get through this crisis in your life.

Now, they’re offering you the best advice they have to give on how to get him back. Unfortunately, their advice is based on the rules girls play by and they aren’t going to be all that effective at getting him back. If you really want to win him back, you’re going to have to play the game by his rules – to some degree.

Playing a Girl’s Game with the Boy’s Rule Book

1) Never let him see you coming. Your number one priority right now is to get him back. That means you have to dedicate yourself to the task. But, you have to do it in a way that doesn’t look like you’re trying to get him back. Don’t show your hands because he’ll constantly be watching and waiting for you to make your move.

2) Show the world you’ve moved on. This includes your girlfriends. Smile. Go out and join the crowd. Fake it until you have everyone convinced that you truly have moved on.

3) Let him know you’ve got game. All the time that you’re trying to show everyone you’ve moved on, you need to invest in making yourself over from the inside out. Become the stronger, more independent woman you’ve always wanted to be. Get a makeover. Change your hair style. Learn to walk in those six-inch heels guys love so much. Become confident in your own skin. Once you’ve accomplished all this – then you let him see you coming and watch the fireworks as he takes in the new you.

Why is this so Effective?

In relationships, you often begin to take each other for granted. The more you learn about each other, the fewer mysteries there are to uncover. You’re presenting him with a whole new you and many more mysteries to unlock. It’s a curious mystery he’s powerless to resist – especially if there ever were genuine feelings on his part. And your girlfriends? They love you regardless of whether you take their advice or not.

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Heartbreak Songs

Heartbreak Songs – Use Them To Get Back Together

Heartbreak songs are the perfect songs after you’ve broken up with the person that you love. You don’t feel like listening to anything cheerier. In fact, some cheerier songs can only make things worse because you’re reminded of the good times you had together. You may even try your hand at writing Heartbreak songs after your break up.

Heartbreak songs are an old tradition, reaching back to probably the day man discovered music and singing. And to the day he discovered broken hearts. If you’re not comfortable trying to come up with an entire song or you have trouble rhyming, you can always write a poem instead.

You can even write your ex a long letter in which you express yourself, if you feel a poem or song is just too hard or too far removed from that they would actually expect of you. But if you can make up a song that truly expresses how you feel then you should go for it.

If you’ve ever had someone write a poem or a song for you, you know how great it feels. So the idea that you would make up Heartbreak songs might really move your ex to think about what’s going on. They’re sure to be touched in some say by the gesture, at least.

To write these songs, you only need to write poetry and then put it to music. You have to write the words, but you don’t have to be able to write music. Just come up with a melody and sing the songs to that melody. If you can’t come up with a melody of your own, then pick a melody from a favorite song and write new words for it.

Still, writing songs isn’t for everyone. Fortunately there have been millions of them written for you already! You probably already have a few favorites that you like to listen to. Now they might have an entirely new meaning when you listen to them.

There’s a good chance that your ex will find new meaning in them too, since you’ve broken up. You could burn a CD of several sad songs about break ups and send it to him or her with a letter. The thing that makes this so effective is that you’ll very carefully choose the songs you include.

Just because a song is sad and about a breakup doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to include it. Really listen to the words and the sentiment behind them. Then choose songs that especially fit your situation.

I can really be effective to choose a few sad songs about the relationship being strained or ending, and include a really uplifting love song among them. If you have a special song as a couple, including that as the last song on the CD can remind your ex of happier times.

Heartbreak songs are there to help you heal, but if you use them correctly they may help you get back together with your ex.

Get a Guy Back

Get Guy Back – Get Him Back After A Breakup

If you were recently involved in a breakup but you want to get guy back, then you need to listen up because the next actions that you engage in are going to be vital in determining whether or not you can get him back.

This can be a difficult time for you to deal with once your man has broken up with you.

You probably do not even fell like your own self at this point. Life may even seem to have lost its meaning entirely. If you want to get guy back, your options are rather limited because the next few actions that you engage in will determine whether or not your relationship even stands a chance.

how to get back to a guyGetting back together with someone who has broken up with you is a task that can be relatively difficult if you do not know what you are doing. If your ex decided that he no longer wanted to be with you, it may be difficult for you to get guy back, but you can still try if you feel so inclined.

That being said, you need to know what steps to take in order to get guy back once you have been broken up with. First and foremost you need to make sure that getting back together with him is really what you are looking for. Is getting back together with him really what you want in your life right now, or will you benefit from some space and time?

The most critical aspect for you to consider beyond this when you want to get guy back is to realize that while sometimes relationships work sometimes they do not. Some people are capable of making up and moving on with the relationship while others simply cannot rekindle things as they would like.

Even if you do not succeed, it will still be worthwhile to make an attempt to get guy back, so at least you can say that you tried even if the relationship does not find a way to be rekindled in the future.

One of the best things that you can do in order to get guy back is to stop worrying or acting desperately about the situation. Simply admit to yourself that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. Don’t worry what he is doing or feel bad that he’s away, but work on living your own life instead.

You need to prove to him that you are capable of being mature about the break up if you want to get guy back. This is the most important thing that you can do, even if it is difficult or stressful.

Try to limit contact with him when you are trying to get guy back, so he will know that you are capable of moving on. This will remind him of how much he enjoyed having you in his life, and he will begin to miss you. If the relationship is meant to be, then it will be.

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After a Seperation

Separation Relationships Can Get Stronger After Heartache

After a separation, relationships can be hard to rebuild. The point of a separation is to see if you can live without each other and to get some time away from your problems to gain some perspective. Unfortunately, people tend to look at a separation as the beginning of the end for a marriage.

This doesn’t have to be true of every separation: relationships can actually come out the other side stronger and healthier than they ever were before. The key to coming back from a separation is to fix the mistakes and problems that lead to the separation and make sure they stay fixed.

A lot of people make an effort to solve the problems to get their significant others back but fail to do the necessary upkeep. This is very much like going on a diet and then expecting to keep the weight off by going back to exactly what you did before. There’s a reason why so many people gain the weight back, and it’s the same reason there are so many divorces after separation; relationships need maintenance.

marriage after separationThe very first thing you need to do to come back from a separation is to find out what the real reasons for the separation were. There will always be a superficial reason, some event driving the decision, but this is rarely the reason, this is usually just a symptom of the real problem.

If you don’t find out what the true reason for the separation, relationships will always fail. This means you have to use the time away from the marriage to look at the problem with as much distance as you can. Your emotions will tend to mislead you.

Once you’ve found out what the problem is, you can begin to do the work needed to fix it. This is a process that involves your spouse; there are two people in a marriage and it takes both of you working together to fix the problems that lead to the separation. Relationships need to be a partnership, and this is a good place to start.

The good news is that fixing the problem is actually the easier part. Finding the problems tends to be harder, and that’s the part most couples will get hung up on. The actual fix is usually just a matter of working with your partner to find the solutions and compromises that will allow you to work around the problem.

Like a diet, this will be a lifetime project, and it will involve change. The fact is that something was broken in your marriage, and the both of you are going to have change to make it work. This where most people go wrong after a separation; relationships have be treated as something brand new.

The best strategy is to treat the relationship as if it is something entirely new. Rebuild your marriage from the ground up, making sure to address the problems that how come before, but also addressing what has come before.

After a separation, relationships can be rebuilt. You just need to take the time and put in the work. Another good idea is to get some help; there are systems and advice available all over the internet that show you exactly what you need to do to fix your relationship and save your marriage.

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Get Them Back After a BreakUp

You’ve suffered a relationship break up, and now you’re wondering if it’s possible to get your ex back. This is a natural reaction, and they call it suffering through a break up with good reason.

The answer to that question is yes far more often than you might think, but you need to approach things the right way to have any chance of getting back together after a relationship break up.

Before you start the process of fixing a broken relationship, you need to ask yourself the all-important question: should I fix this relationship. After a relationship break up, you will understandably feeling lonely and lost.

This is not a good reason to try and get back with your ex, because these feelings can lead you to ignore the very real problems that lead to the relationship falling apart to begin with.

But if you look at the relationship and realize that your reasons for wanting to get back with your ex are genuine, then it’s time to take the right steps to mend the parts of the relationship that are broken.

You need to take a planned and measured approach, though, and not just go charging right in. You wouldn’t run on a broken leg, and you need to take the same kind of care in healing after a relationship break up.

get her backStep One: Date Someone Else

I know this seems like weird advice when you’re trying to get your ex back, but this is a very useful step. The keyword here is date; this is not an invitation to start a full-fledged romance.

But dating other people will serve two purposes. One is that it will show you whether or not you should be trying to get your ex back: if you find you’re not thinking about them and are thing about your date, then this is a sign that you may be moving on.

The other reason is that it will give you some space to reflection on your relationship and something to compare it to. This will give you the information you will need to do the next step.

Step Two: Know what went wrong

The cliché is that people that don’t k now their history are doomed to repeat it. This is rarely more true than in repairing a broken relationship. If you don’t know exactly what went wrong, you won’t be able to fix it, so it is very important that you figure out where things went wrong so that you can navigate around the reasons for your relationship break up.

Step Three: Use a Light Touch

Start slow and don’t rush things. Do not, under any circumstances, expect things to immediately revert to the good old days before the relationship break up. You need to look at this as starting all over, and you need to let things progress at their own pace. Nothing will put your ex off faster than you trying to push them too far, too fast.

While this article will certainly start you on the road to winning them back after a relationship break up, you may still need more advice and instruction. If this is the case, don’t hesitate to look for the advice that will help you get back to the place where you were happy.

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How to Win Him Back

When Love Still Exists How to Win Him Back

words that will win him backDo you want to win him back?  If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who you are about to lose, you may want to get back together.  You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame.  Here’s how to win him back.

First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings.  Do you still care deeply about him?  Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable.  You don’t want to lose him because he’s like an old slipper.  But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship.  There has to be a great love.  If you still have passionate feelings for your man, you can move onto the next step of how to win him back.

And that next step is examining how he feels about you.  Does he have the same kind of grand love?  If the problems in the relationship are things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win him back.  But, if the problem is deeper – he is no longer in love with you – maybe you should start to move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together.  For instance, think back to who you were when your man fell for you.  Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change.  You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence.  You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.

If you want to win him back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.

Another tip to how to win him back is to practice detachment.  Don’t call, text, or stalk him.  You don’t want to appear desperate.  By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him. 

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy.  You get reconnected to friends and family.  You take up hobbies and other things which interest you.  You become a more positive person in general.  This all helps in win him back.

When you do get together with him from time to time, use the past to your advantage.  For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it.  If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again.  Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win him back.

From time to time, invite him to non-committal type events.  Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party.

Finally, if you want to win him back, just be yourself.  Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t.  You can’t change who you are to win him back.  You can only be yourself.