Tag Archives: get her back

Making up in the Movies – Why Doesn’t it Really Work That Way?

making upYou’ve seen it happen in the movies dozens, if not hundreds of time. Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love with boy. Boy breaks girl’s heart (mean boy!). Girl breaks up with boy. Boy makes heroic effort with giant 1980’s boom boxes, saying “hello,” flying a jet, and countless other antics to win her heart back. The problem is, one person is writing the script for both of them in the movies. They’re playing pre-defined roles and following cues. Real life doesn’t quite work that way.

Lack of Originality

Unfortunately, a lot of guys haven’t gotten the memo. You’re still trying to use moves that have been used before. Sadly, these are moves the girls you’re trying to get back together with already know about too.

Your ex doesn’t want you to copy something that’s been done before. If you’re going to make a move to get her back, it had better, at the very least, be original. It needs to be something she hasn’t seen before. It also needs to be something that you would do. It needs to appear sincere. Using movie lines as your guide makes her feel as though she isn’t
important enough to you for something original.

Not Appropriate for Your Situation

Every relationship is different. Every breakup is somewhat unique. You can be having the same arguments as 10,000 other couples around the world, but there are things about the two of you and your situation that make those same arguments and situations unique.

No matter what the reason for the breakup was, your situation is different than Harry and Sally’s (When Harry Met Sally), Joe and Kathleen’s (You’ve Got Mail), Maverick and Charlie’s (Top Gun), and Pat and Tiffany’s (Silver Linings Playbook). You need to take the time and make the effort to come up with something unique and specific to your romantic situation. More importantly, it needs to be something that will matter to her and melt her heart.

Alternative Endings Worth Considering

That is, of course, if you’re going for movie magic effects. However, you could do something else altogether. Something she may even find curious and shocking. You could let her go — at least for a little while. Instead of going after the girl, give her a little time to think things through.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Then, after a little time has passed, chances are you won’t need to call her. She’ll call you. When that happens, you can both enjoy a happy ending that’s much better than anything Hollywood could come up with because it’s the story that belongs to the two of you and no one else.

Why Apologizing is The Wrong Answer if You Really Want to Get Her Back

get her backMost guys think the perfect answer, after a breakup, is to apologize to the girl who got away. Some of them have a hard time understanding why this doesn’t work – or in some cases makes her even angrier than she was initially. Apologizing is almost always the wrong answer. Here are just a few of the reasons why.

Apologizing is a Sign of Weakness

Fans of the hit television show on CBS have heard this a time or two throughout its many seasons on the air. It’s one of Gibbs’ favorite sayings. But, it is a sign of being on the weak end of the argument. You never want to broach an argument from a weaker position.

Apologies Come Across as Insincere

Chances are good that you’ve apologized in the past. Perhaps, you’ve even apologized for the very things she says are the problems in your relationship. Apologies, without action, do not bring about a sufficient result to make her happy. While you don’t have to change everything about who you are, sometimes, you’re going to have to make some adjustments to your nature in order to keep her happy and make her FEEL loved by you.

Apologies aren’t Specific Enough

Apologizing for “whatever you did to make her leave” isn’t going to cut it. She needs to hear the specific reason why you’re apologizing. She wants you to acknowledge that you’ve hurt, neglected, ignored, cheated, or whatever it is that you’ve done. She wants to know that you understand it’s wrong. Problem is, she doesn’t always tell you what you did. Which leads to the next reason it’s a bad idea to apologize when your girlfriend leaves.

It’s Too Easy to Apologize for the Wrong Thing

The last thing you want to do is add fuel to the fire by apologizing for something you think she found out about, while failing to apologize to the thing that’s really set her off. Talk about digging in deeper! The bottom line, when it comes to apologies, is that there are many more ways to get it wrong than there are to get it right. If you feel you must apologize, it’s best to do it in writing and follow these simple rules.

  1. Be specific.
  2. Make your apology brief.
  3. Keep it simple.

Putting it in writing prevents a fight, gives her time to think it over, and provides a neutral setting where she can process the apology and what it may mean for your collective futures. Apologies, for the most part, have a negative impact on the future of the relationship. Instead of a apologizing, look for positive aspects of the relationship and attempt to capitalize on how good you were together rather than revisiting mistakes that were made.

along the way.

The Lazy Man’s Guide to Getting Your Girlfriend Back

Breaking up is especially difficult when it wasn’t your plan. Men handle unexpected breakups in different ways. Some men go all in to get their girlfriends back. They jump through crazy hoops, make deals, bargain, beg, and come close to stalking in an effort to get her back.

Other men decide that maybe this is just how things were meant to be and seek greener pastures elsewhere – at least, that’s what they do in time. It often takes at least a little while to mend their broken hearts and feel willing to put them back on the market again.

But there are still others who want to ride off into the sunset with the girl that got away, but have no idea how to make that happen. More importantly, they want to get her back but they don’t want to have to jump through hoops to do it.

Fortunately, hoop jumping really isn’t necessary to get her back. You don’t even have to do the chasing. You’ll probably be surprised to learn just how easy it can be to get her to come back to you.

get her back

Don’t Call Her

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? After all, it requires no action on your part. What it does require, though, is dedicated inaction. That’s not so simple when every instinct you have is telling you to go after her.

It’s the primal male drive to conquer all threats to life, limb, and overall happiness. You want to make her see the light. You want to show her how good it really is between you. You want things to be the way they were.

Chasing the girl down might make her swoon in the movies. In real life it nets you a restraining order. Give her a little time to work through her own emotions and take a little time to really think about whether things really were all that good (for both of you) the way they were.

Make Small Changes at Home

You don’t have to become a completely new man. That’s way too much work. But you might make a few small changes in appearance – yes girls really do notice these things. Consider something simple to start with like teeth whitening to brighten your smile.

While you might not be interested in a full blown gym membership, you might want to consider lifting weights at home (within reason) or playing racquetball or even pickup basketball games for a little firming and toning – maybe even skip that second beer at night or cut back from the pizza. Small changes don’t require a lot of effort and can deliver really big results.

Wait for Her to Come to You

Believe it or not, the world is small. Once people start noticing the little changes you’re making, and believe me they will, word will get back to her. Women are curious creatures. Not only in the sense that men have a hard time understanding them, but because they like to know what’s going on.

It will drive her insane with curiosity that you’re doing so well without her. She’ll want to know why you’re looking better, getting together with other people, and making changes for the better in your life – even little changes get big attention in today’s world.

She will call or “bump” into you just to see what’s different. She’ll be desperate to know what’s going on. That’s when it’s really time to work your magic. All you need now is the right thing to say to convince her she was wrong to walk away.

Relationship Breakup

Ease the Pain of a Relationship Breakup Right Now

A relationship breakup is one of the hardest things most people will ever have to do Indeed, most studies on stress show that a divorce ranks even higher on the stress scale than losing a loved one. Most people don’t have any idea how to properly handle a relationship breakup.

The end of a relationship will always be painful, even if it’s one that needs to be broken up. You’ve spent a lot of time and emotion with this person, and even if you’re the one doing the breaking up, it’s going to come with a lot of hurt feelings.

Obviously, this going to be even worse if you’re the one being broken up with. A relationship breakup that you don’t want or expect is a horrible event. What you have to keep in mind is that a relationship needs two people in it. You may want it to go on, but if the other person has checked out, you may have to consider that the relationship needed to end.

Still there are techniques you can use to ease the pain of a relationship breakup. I’m going to outline several techniques that have been proven to help relieve the pain of a broken heart and move you past the hurt.

relationship get him back breakupStep One: Figure Out Why

You need to know why the relationship ended. This doesn’t matter if you were the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with. Either way you need to do some soul searching to find out what the reasons were behind the breakup. If you have some questions about why you broke up, then you’re never going to be able to move beyond the relationship breakup.

Step Two: Get Rid of Reminders

You need to get some space between you and the person you’ve broken up with. This means that you can’t go to bed each night hanging on to your ex’s old sweater. You need to clean the deck and get your mind off of them. You need to make a clean break, so you need to put away all the little reminders.

Step Three: Positive People

There are negative people in the world and there are positive people. If you’ve just experienced a relationship breakup, you’re going to find that you are in a very negative place. What you need to do is find the most upbeat and positive people you can and spend as much time with them as possible. In combination with the previous two steps, this will put you in the right place to move.

Step Four: Start Dating Again

The final step in recovering from a relationship break up is to start dating other people. The thing you need to keep in mind is that you are not trying to replace your ex, you’re just trying to start seeing the world as a place without them. So you need to see other people and get out there. Don’t look at every date as a new chance at love, just look at them as a way to get your mojo back.

The four steps will have you over your relationship breakup in no time flat. But keep in mind; you don’t necessarily have to get over a break up. Sometimes good relationships fall apart for the wrong reasons, and you can fix the damage. You just need to find the right plan.

relationship breakup

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Get Them Back After a BreakUp

You’ve suffered a relationship break up, and now you’re wondering if it’s possible to get your ex back. This is a natural reaction, and they call it suffering through a break up with good reason.

The answer to that question is yes far more often than you might think, but you need to approach things the right way to have any chance of getting back together after a relationship break up.

Before you start the process of fixing a broken relationship, you need to ask yourself the all-important question: should I fix this relationship. After a relationship break up, you will understandably feeling lonely and lost.

This is not a good reason to try and get back with your ex, because these feelings can lead you to ignore the very real problems that lead to the relationship falling apart to begin with.

But if you look at the relationship and realize that your reasons for wanting to get back with your ex are genuine, then it’s time to take the right steps to mend the parts of the relationship that are broken.

You need to take a planned and measured approach, though, and not just go charging right in. You wouldn’t run on a broken leg, and you need to take the same kind of care in healing after a relationship break up.

get her backStep One: Date Someone Else

I know this seems like weird advice when you’re trying to get your ex back, but this is a very useful step. The keyword here is date; this is not an invitation to start a full-fledged romance.

But dating other people will serve two purposes. One is that it will show you whether or not you should be trying to get your ex back: if you find you’re not thinking about them and are thing about your date, then this is a sign that you may be moving on.

The other reason is that it will give you some space to reflection on your relationship and something to compare it to. This will give you the information you will need to do the next step.

Step Two: Know what went wrong

The cliché is that people that don’t k now their history are doomed to repeat it. This is rarely more true than in repairing a broken relationship. If you don’t know exactly what went wrong, you won’t be able to fix it, so it is very important that you figure out where things went wrong so that you can navigate around the reasons for your relationship break up.

Step Three: Use a Light Touch

Start slow and don’t rush things. Do not, under any circumstances, expect things to immediately revert to the good old days before the relationship break up. You need to look at this as starting all over, and you need to let things progress at their own pace. Nothing will put your ex off faster than you trying to push them too far, too fast.

While this article will certainly start you on the road to winning them back after a relationship break up, you may still need more advice and instruction. If this is the case, don’t hesitate to look for the advice that will help you get back to the place where you were happy.

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Can I Get Her Back?

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How to get him back

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