Tag Archives: stop the divorce

After an Affair

Restoring Trust in Relationships  Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated?  Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship.  But I disagree.  I believe that free tips on how to stop my divorceevery relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it.  This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions.  Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship.  But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray.  There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased.  But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed?  Was the sex humdrum?  Was she too busy for you?  Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect.  So, what needs to be done to fix it?  Often that lies in self analysis.  But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems.  Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough.  The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things. 

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them.  If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it.  And, do it consistently.  When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed.  This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time.  You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course.  It is not easy for her to forgive the breach.  If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever.  In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building.  Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident.  Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature.  Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time.  It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions.  But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.
 

Can I Save My Marriage?

Can I Save My Marriage? Advice To Prevent Divorce

separation and divorceDivorce is not longer a background issue for people getting married or who are married with the rates of splitting up skyrocketing due to many factors in our changing culture and social structures. Instead it is something always there as a shadow in their thoughts as they are bombarded with celebrities divorcing and media statistics that sow doubt and fear but do make people think how can I save my marriage before it becomes too late as they know where the road of marital problems can lead for half of married couples.

Another problem you may face trying to save your marriage is the belief that you are the only one trying and that no matter what you do it is being sabotaged by your partner who does not put the effort in or seems to deliberately make things worse. The strain on your life, health, work and happiness because of this can be devastating making the task harder and harder and many people simply give up and go with the flow without thinking or trying anymore perhaps also thinking it is a foregone conclusion; this is not always the case as you can save your marriage!

When you look at the strongest happiest marriages what is it you see? Commitment, compatibility, stability? All these things and more may be true but none of them can exist in a vacuum because commitment can be a miserable thing is you are not compatible and compatibility without commitment leads to infidelity or a slide into a situation you feel like friends but not partner and lovers. It is my belief that all the good things in a marriage come from one concept and one word that can be greatly misunderstood: Love.

Now most people DO love their spouse but the commitment to love and making it grow day by day can be forgotten or taken for granted. This leads to the real issues of happiness, contentment and passion being obscured by petty issues that become a surrogate method of releasing frustration in a marriage. Not that all arguments are about petty things but with an attitude of being in love even the difficult situations can be overcome together and this then becomes an issue very closely tied to love which is communication.

When you ask ‘can I save my marriage’ what you really mean is can I communicate my love to my partner and solve the problems that inhibit a loving relationship. This is all about methods of communication which are skills that can be very difficult to develop but when put in place can provide amazing results in defusing hostility, getting the core of a problem and then solving it which then solves the surface issues as well.

By: James Fargo

Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com

So if you are prepared to be the one who saves your marriage even if you think your partner does not want it click below to find guides with step by step formulas written by experts in marriage & divorce that can help you prevent your divorce and save your marriage.
www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce

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